About Me
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
Favorite Pasttime
One can't describe the feeling of catching a wild West Virginia Trout with a rod you built and a fly you tied.
My Favorite Blogs
Friday, October 2, 2009
It's a West Virginia Mountaineers...thing of the heart
5:12 PM | Posted by
David |
As I rode out Route 50 heading to Morgantown, I began to take note that the trees were starting to show color and the famous fall vista along Rt 50 was coming to life. One car after the other would pass with their WV decals or flags flapping from the motion. We all had one thing in common. We were going to see the West Virginia Mountaineers play football. I have never really been a sports fan. I follow them at times more so out of curiosity than anything else. But Mountaineer Football is something entirely different. Perhaps the same emotion that thousands in this state feel but can't explain.
Fall was showing it's face in Morgantown . The temperature was 50 degrees with a clear sky and an almost full moon. It was a sea of gold once you got to the stadium area and an excitement and spirit was filling the air. The smell of grills and traditional foods teased your nose. Thousands of fans in full pregame party caused that familiar rush I love so well.
As I sat in the stands during the pregame, the voice of legendary Jack Flemming came to my mind as if a ghost was sitting in the seat next to me. It was as if I could hear him saying, "Autumn in Morgantown, West Virginia, home of West Virginia University is here. It's a cool fall night, the perfect canvas for football as the West Virginia Mountaineers take the field"... No one could commentate the Mountaineers like Jack could.
As I sat there watching the warm ups, my mind drifted back to 1967 and being in Parkersburg going to school. A friend of mine from Beaver was in his second year in Morgantown and called to invite me up for the weekend and a WVU football game. The only exposure to such a thing was on TV and even that was rare. I jumped at the chance. He drove from Morgantown and spent the night Friday night and we took off to Morgantown via Rt 50 which at that time was mostly two lanes still. Fall was in full force and it's effect on me added to the excitement of this weekend.
Once in Morgantown, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I guess I had been sheltered too much for such things. Everything from sheets of plywood to bed sheets were hanging from the dorms with the phrase..."beat the hell out of Pitt". I couldn't believe such things being exposed in public. But I soon learned it was the norm. I was introduced around the dorm and was captured by the atmosphere I was becoming a part of. Fraternity rush was in full swing and all the tradition that goes with it. The long bath robes, Darby caps and walking canes, each representing a frat rush of some sort. The old stadium beside the river was a perfect back drop for an event I'll never forget. That night, I added to the strings that pull at my heart. That night, I became a WVU football fan that bled blue and gold.
It was a beautiful October Saturday afternoon and I had been to Beaver to visit my mother. I was on my way back down the turnpike not far from the tunnel. (Yes, I do still remember where I was at). I had tuned in the WVU and Pitt football game and it wasn't the dangerous toll road that was causing my knuckles to be white. The score was tied in the last quarter and WVU had taken possession of the ball with 4 seconds on a stopped clock. The field goal team was put, and I can today still hear Jack Flemming giving such an excited detail. He was all but screaming in the microphone..."it's long enough...IT'S GOOD...the game is over and it's a mob scene on the field". I probably scared my wife and kids to no end. My eyes were so blurred I had a difficult time seeing.
Nothing has changed since that first trip to Morgantown in 1967. Perhaps only the emotions grew more. It doesn't matter to me the season stats or the gossip or the turmoil that surrounds any major college football team. To me, it's the Mountaineers...for I am true blue and gold and always will be.
Over the past few years I have read several accounts of WVU inviting the late John Denver to the new stadium to sing "Country Roads". The bottom line of each article you might read is that he was awe struck, not expecting to have 50,000 back up singers. At the end of the game I glanced over to my 3 year old granddaughter sitting on her father's shoulders. She knew every word to the song..."Almost Heaven, West Virginia"...once again my eyes were blurred.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Autumn in the air
9:28 AM | Posted by
David |
I recently read a post on a website saying "the smell of Autumn was in the air". I've heard that thousands of times over the years but, for some reason, it caused me to wonder what the smell of Autumn really is. I'm sure there is, in fact, some sort of a natural or chemical transformation going on that could put a scent in the ozone or mask the smells we have grown accustomed to over the summer.It's the beginning of September already. The weather in this area of the mountain state has turned cool. Daytime temps in the mid 70's and down to 50 at night. The sky is a clean and clear blue that seems to have no beginning or an end. Dusk comes earlier than it did a couple of weeks ago, and dawn seems to hang on for the longest time before daylight comes to the river. Having coffee on the deck in the morning requires a long sleeve shirt. The dew seems heavier and lasts till well up in to the morning.
Last evening, I spent some time in my swing and as I sat there, I began to once again visit the notion of "fall in the air". The blooms on my Rose of Sharon are all gone and the lower leaves now are turning a light yellow. No longer is the humidity so thick it robs the pleasure of an evening out in the yard or sitting in the swing. I noticed yesterday as I was driving home close to my house, a field full of geese and the view up the river is now more open that it was two weeks ago. The fawns I have been watching all summer are losing their spots and the two bucks are beginning to get frisky and lose a little more of their velvet each day.
When the storm hit my property a couple of weeks ago, hundreds of black walnuts were knocked to the ground. During the clean up, I picked them up and placed them in a pile along the fence. The squirrels are making good time in stealing these. Leaving only a pile of brown shells . Even they know what time of the year is getting close. Harvest is starting in the mountain state. Apple festivals and fields of stacked corn, along with wheat and oats are a common thing now. The sight of school buses tells you summer is on its way out. I watched a groundhog this morning I have named "Prince Charles"...or Chuck for short...growing fatter each time I see him. He's braver now and will eat the scraps I put out by the fence while I watch. He still doesn't say thank you...just waddles away at a much slower pace.
I built a fire in my fire pit, and as I sat there watching the flames dance and the smoke swirl, memories of other falls and the Autumn season slowly began to replace the notions of getting the yard mowed and weeds pulled. I began to plan where I'll set my Mums this year and place the shocks of corn. Suddenly, the list of things I need done before winter doesn't seem as doable as it did when I felt I had a lot of time to do it. The trees around my house will be turning a beautiful shade of yellow, and late in the evening with the lights on my house looks like a Kincaid painting.
Friday and Saturday evenings, I'll hear the cannon fire that signals the start of a local football game, and instantly my Associated Index will bring smells of the hotdog concession at a Shady Spring High football game. The section of the Upper Shavers I fish will soon be every color one can imagine and the river, at times, like an artist palette with all the mixed leaves and colors. One does not need a trip to New England to have their breath taken away. It's right here. My wardrobe will change also. No longer the shorts and t-shirts but soon to be back to my flannel shirts and old faded jeans I'm so comfortable in. Even my diet will change. You will find a pot of chili or vegetable soup on the stove and fresh homemade bread sending its scent throughout the house. There will be many evenings in the swing or on the deck, drifting back to another time in the mountains of southern West Virginia. I'll close my eyes and see the fall vista of Grandview, and continue my journey of searching for the one perfect tree that symbolizes this wonderful season...camera ready, so I can capture it.
Frost will bring a brown canvas to show off the reds of poison ivy and oak. Young Sumac will stand out way before you get to them. Fire on the Mountains will turn red and orange and yards go from bright green to a carpet of leaves. Saturday mornings will be just like those growing up and a layer of smoke from burning leaves hanging in the hair over Beaver. My Balsam and Snap Dragons will be replaced with blooms of crimson, purple and yellow Mums. Firewood will be carried to the deck and days working outside will get shorter.
It is my favorite time of the year. Time to gather books for winter reading, bundle up for walks, and time on the deck with a cup of hot coffee in my favorite cup. I have always had a matter with fall I could not identify. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. At times, it's an endless energy, trying to soak it all up before winter makes it's appearance. Sometimes, it's an unknown sadness I can't quite put my finger on. Perhaps it's signaling an end...or preparation for a new beginning. The warmth of the fire tonight felt good and the orange flames had a rival. The full moon was a bright orange...and the perfect back drop for a witch on her broom out and about for the evening.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
It's called fishing, not catching
10:12 PM | Posted by
David |
As a young pup growing up in Beaver, I developed a love for fishing. With Little Beaver Creek just a short walking distance away, it was an easy passion to build. I would sit on the rock ledge behind Todd's Hardware and fish the day away. From Rock Bass and Creek Chubs, I moved on to finer things as far as angling was concerned. That was trout.On one of the visits to my Grandmother Richmond's farm at Pluto, I took a long stick and tied a hardware store bought line to the end of it. There were no fancy leaders or tippets....just a small hook and worms gathered from under a rotten log behind the smokehouse. Pinch Creek gets it's start at the corner of my grandparents' farm. It flows slowly through the meadow creating a deep hole at each bend. I must have been 10 or so...but I can remember today seeing that line go tight and under a log. I had caught my first native brook trout. My uncle who lived on the farm was watching me from the foot bridge and told me to get a few more and he'd fix them for dinner. That was my first taste of trout and the beginning of a love affair that has never died.
The older I got, the farther I ventured out in the area to streams I had only heard of as I was growing up. Today, some 50 years later, these streams are still my favorites to visit when I can. I have caught trout in Glade Creek, Pinch, Little Beaver and Camp Creek. Each, a memory I hold tightly to. But it wasn't until later in life, did it become an avenue of escape for me.
I grew up watching a neighbor fly fish. I can still, today, see him false cast and lay that fly just at the right place on Pinch or Glade. I'd listen to his stories of trips to the Williams and Cranberry Rivers. To me, at the time, they were in another world. He often gave me his rod and told me that only with practice would it come to me. He was right.
I bought my first fly rod while stationed at Frances E Warren AFB in Cheyenne, Wyoming, in 1970. It just happened that the day I was in the store, so was Curt Gowdy, the famous sportscaster and fly fisherman. He signed the 9 foot Eagle Claw rod I bought and I have that rod today. It was once I was out of the service and venturing out to streams I had only heard about, that I began to fall in love with fly fishing. I have spent so many hours on streams that most never visit and never catch a trout. Yet, caught up in where I was at and what I was teaching myself slowly, but surely, to do. I would often venture out with friends from work to a recently stocked stream and use a spinning outfit, only to catch myself watching for a hatch or a rise that I could have cast to. I began to find a peace and solace in places most never think of. To see the surface of the water break and a small native trout hit a fly I have tied gives me more pleasure and peace of mind than I can describe. There is actually a romance about it all, and releasing it to catch another day is a part of it. It's a way of sharing back and forth with this beautiful state of ours. Trout live in such beautiful places.
I came across a fly rod at an antique car swap meet of all places, that got me to thinking about the older bamboo rods. Soon after that I decided I wanted to build my own. After a lot of research and reading, I came to the conclusion that it was too far out of my reach to do and bought one of the newer composite light weight rods. Yet, the thought was still in the back of my mind, along with the romance and history behind the older rods from England and the craftsmen from New England.
I bought my first older Shakespeare Rod in the late 80's and have been hooked ever since. There's a lot of things I don't remember and a lot of trout I have forgotten. But I can remember the first trout on that old rod. I was at the lower falls on Fall Run of the Holly River park, and it was a Black Gnat dry fly that I had cast to a small Rainbow that been coming to the surface. There was no turning back. The desire to build my own only grew stronger.
The more I researched the older rods, the more I came to realize it was much more than planing down bamboo strips and glueing them together. There was, in fact, a science behind it. This comes into play with the taper and length of the rod. The taper meaning the progression of the size from the tip to the handle. I was fortunate to be able to find others who had gone this route before me, and their trials and tests to find just what they wanted. Building bamboo fly rods can be a very expensive venture, so I slowly began to gather what tools I didn't have so I could start.
One key tool to building a bamboo fly rod is the planing form. It's an adjustable form that has a 60 degree slot down the middle. The taper is adjusted and one of six strips are planed down to the desired thickness. I began to correspond with an older gentleman from Vermont who told me how to build my own forms rather than purchase them. Having worked with wood all my adult life, I figured this was the way to go. I built my first forms from hard Maple and actually still use them. I was wise enough to know to practice, so in 1997 I began to practice on a domestic type of bamboo that grows here at my home. A special bamboo called Tonkin is used for the better rods, and is not that easy to obtain nor is it cheap. I lost count that winter of the number of strips I cut and threw away. But soon I got the hang of it, and mastered the forms to do as I needed them to. I bought my first supply of Tonkin bamboo from a supply house in the state of Washington and instantly could see the difference. I learned to keep my plane irons razor sharp and have a lot of patience. Lots of patience! 
One needs to envision a strip of bamboo planed to the thickness of a toothpick on one end and an eight of an inch on the other. These six strips are glued together and wrapped with a string and set aside to cure. Once the glue is dried, it's sanded off and the surface of the bamboo, the outer surface, is sanded to a glass-like finish.
The hardware is installed and the guides wrapped with a silk thread tight enough so that you can't see the wraps. The rod is then finished in a varnish and allowed to dry. It's then polished once again to a mirror finish. 
I have built over 12 of these rods. I've sold a few, kept a few and given some away. I sign each with my name and the Motto...Montani Sempri Lebri, meaning Mountaineers are always free men. It was while I was making my last few rods, I began to notice a problem I have been having with my hand. Arthritis has taken it's toll in my hands and wrists and I can no longer plane as I did. I'd spend an evening in my shop working on a rod and then have to take four or five off for my hands to get so I could do it again. I loved it while it lasted. Casting a bamboo rod is much different that casting the newer power rods. It requires you to slow down and pay much more attention to what you are doing and the mechanics of laying a weightless imitation of a fly out on the water...just as nature would do with the real thing.
It was one of those spring days you read about in books. The scent of everything coming to life was everywhere on top of Cheat Mountain as I made my way down to the stream. The sky was cloudless and wildlife was taking advantage of the absence of snow. As I hiked down the mountain through the Laurel and Spruce, I could hear the river ahead of me and the excitement that never dies grew in my chest. I sat on the bank and watched the water for evidence of some sort of insect hatch that I could try to match from my selection of flys. I decided to go with a fly that tends to imitate a lot of things and see what this new rod I had built was like. I began to work the pool from all angles and, with each cast, fell in love with the creation in my hands.
I had let the Stimulator fly drift to the tail of the pool, and out of the water came a beautiful rainbow with the fly in it's mouth. There is nothing I can write to explain the feeling of that catch. I had caught a beautiful colored rainbow trout with not only a fly I had tied but a rod I had built. The transfer of energy from the trout ran up the hair thin tippet, through the line and down the rod to my hands. The whole exchange of a trout fighting on the other end winds up as excitement in your heart. One that I never tire of and often becomes an addiction.
I spent the rest of the day learning the quirks and traits of the rod. I was fishing and not catching. That was fine, because I was alone in such a beautiful place. I was witnessing Wild Wonderful West Virginia at it's finest. The only sounds were those made by the river. Each bend held a new scene of nature that took my breath away. I was in "Almost Heaven". Toward late afternoon, a hatch of Blue Wing Olives came to the surface. I tied on a size 22 and began to work the ripples to several deep pools. Out of nowhere the hits came, one right after the other.
It's a day I'll never forget and will always see it as my benchmark on fly fishing. I was alone in the middle of nowhere, intoxicated by the sounds and scents of Spring and with my own creations. I have since caught a lot of trout on the rod I built, but that day will always remain with me. When I open the Oak presentation box I keep it in, I instantly go back to that Spring day on the Upper Shavers River of Cheat Mountain.
My last rod sits half finished. On a good day when my hands are not swollen and I can manipulate my fingers, I work on it. It will be signed: My Last One...David Akers, builder.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
An anniversary of sorts....
5:04 AM | Posted by
David |
Today is June the 13, and a day I probably will never forget. What does this day have to do with my blog and memories from another day? Because the events of last June and every June for 6 years before that has a lot to do with who I am. There may be some who will read this who will understand what I will try to explain. There may also be those that won't believe it or actually scarf at it.
On February the 14, 2002, I was awakened in the middle of the night with what I thought was a sinus headache. Little did I know the pain that rousted me from a deep sleep would be a villain in my life for the next 6 years. I had only been asleep a couple of hours when it happened. The headache lasted about three hours and went away as fast as it came. I knew I was having some sinus problems as I usually do that time of the year and really didn't give any thought to it.
I had just started my 7 day long break and was off from work. I went about my day preparing for a coming snow storm they were predicting and really didn't feel bad at all. Then that night within 30 minutes of the time the first one hit...another one. Only this time it was twice as bad. Bad enough it scared me. I experienced things I have never known before. While outside the storm raged. This time it lasted for four hours and absolutely wiped me out. When daylight came and the headache subsided, we also had 14 inches of snow. Roads were closed, businesses shut down and I was snowed in, even with a four wheel drive.
I began to experience what is known as the "hang over" or aftermath during the day. My neck and face were so sore I couldn't stand to touch it. But the confusion of what was going on was just as bad. That night again within an hour and half after I was asleep it hit. This time...I felt sure I was going to die. I had never in my life experienced such pain. My left eye was swollen shut...along with the left side of my nose. I experienced a feeling of heat that I still cannot describe. It was then I realized I was doing things I had no control over. I paced and walked...cussed, cried, and screamed. I felt that in the wee hours of that winter morning my life would end. I knew that only something really bad could cause such pain.
When it became daylight, I decided I had to do something regardless of the streets. I finally made it out and went to emergency medical. They told me I had a serious sinus infection and gave me some meds to take. They told me, as always, to go see my personal physician as soon as I could. That night, just as with the others, it hit. My teeth were so numb you could pull them without Novocaine. I paced, rocked and held my head in my hands like a vice trying to force the pain out. I cussed and screamed which is something totally out of my nature. Without realizing what I was doing, I went outside in the cold and packed my face in snow. I don't know why. I know I did. Finally it was over just as fast as it came.
This was the pattern for the next 18 days. I went to my personal physician and he, in turn, sent me to a neurologist and a headache specialist. After thorough exams of MRI Scans, and everything else you can think of, he told me I was suffering from what is known as Episodic Cluster Headaches. He told me the medical history of them. That they were very rare and there was no known cure. There was a regimen of meds I could take to ease them somewhat. But that was it. He instructed me on giving myself a pain shot when they hit and set me up an appointment with a specialist that deals with them in Charlottesville, Virgina.
The headaches ended by the end of March and I felt it was over with. I began to research them and the more I found, the more concerned I became. They had all sorts of nicknames from "The Devils Dance" to "The Smith and Wesson Headaches". Some actually called them "The Suicide Headaches". I found that an unexplained nature of them was the uncanny time line they followed. The end of April mine were back and far worse than the first series. At times, my temples were void of hair where I had pulled it out, and I'd go to work looking like I had been in a bar fight from the black and blue bruises where I had unknowingly hit myself or squeezed my head so hard trying to force the pain out. This set lasted 9 days. So became my life every three months to the extent you could mark your calendar by them. Each came after I was asleep for about 2 hours. Each lasted from 2 to 5 hours.
A doctor from the Cleveland Clinic created a pain scale for the clusters during a group study of them. A number 5 is like the worse migraine you can have. Number 13 was suicidal. After my visit to Virginia, I was taught how to judge the pain and instructed to keep a journal of them. My employer was sent a letter explaining how rare and how intense the pain was and the type of meds I was on that might show up in my yearly physicals. I became afraid to go anywhere. I was afraid to travel and carried even more fear my children might see me have one. I was held hostage by them.
This was my life for 6 years. In that time frame I had over 250 of them. I have cried till my eyes were bloodshot and screamed to the point I lost my voice. I begged God and I cussed him. Never in control of what I was saying or actually knowing. I have thrown things and knocked holes in the wall not knowing till they were over that I had done so. One physician who did a study on the Clusters wrote that it's some of the worse pain one can experience. She described it as amputation with out anesthetics. She went on to explain that out of the thousand cases she studied, that the word "cluster" was a key to recognizing them. She went on to say they were not even in the same category as migraines and you don't have just one. So many know or feel they know of someone who has them..or had them. But in reality it was not the true "clusters". It's something you don't want to see another have...nor will you ever forget the pain.
For 6 years I knew that at least 4 times a year, an hour and half to two hours after I was asleep they would hit. It was like knowing that each time you fell asleep the same terrible nightmare was going to happen. I had every test you can imagine. Sleep test after sleep test. I tried meds that one sufferer would suggest and nothing showed a trigger...or relief.
Then the first of June 2008 they hit. Only this time they hit during the day and some days I had as many as 5 or 6 of them. By the end of the first week of June I was beside myself. I was desperate. Dangerously so. I contacted the specialist in Virginia and they conferred with my personal physician and suggested a morphine patch. I won't go into details, but, fear, pain and a hopeless feeling went beyond danger for me. I knew I could not continue to suffer 10 to 13 level Clusters much longer. I ran into a problem with getting pain meds from my insurance company. My personal physician tried to help but was running into a block wall and I was running out of time. I simply could not stand it much longer.
I contacted my son for help and he asked me if I would consider trying something somewhat new. He called and got me in with a Neurologist the specializes in chronic, severe pain. When I went to see him the first time and explained what I was going through he showed me more compassion than any physician I had seen. Trust me. I had been to a bunch of them. He told me something I'll never forget...he said, "I'm 90 percent sure I can stop 90 percent of the pain". "I just can't tell you how long it will last". He told me it could last a week, a month, a year or 5 years. I told him if he could give one week of sleep it was worth it.
The procedure consisted of long needles placed at three nerve points in the base of the skull. Then one in the jaw on the side the headaches were at and one in the temple. I'm not going to lie. I walked back to my son in the waiting area with tears running down my face. The procedure hurt and hurt bad. After each procedure I'd sleep at times for 12 to 20 hours. I had a total of 4 of these. Finally after the fourth one, the headaches stopped. That has been one year ago today. One year I have been pain free. I still wake at nights with the symptoms of them. But no pain. For the first time in 6 years I'm no longer afraid to travel or be around others certain times of the year. For the first time in 6 years, I don't have to worry about stocking up on pain meds and stat pens. For the first time in 6 years, I don't have the fear of being at work or in a grocery store or at dinner and the "devil coming to dance". I finally have my life back.
For those that want more information on these devils and those that suffer them you can check out The Organization for Understanding Cluster Headaches..."OUCH".
On February the 14, 2002, I was awakened in the middle of the night with what I thought was a sinus headache. Little did I know the pain that rousted me from a deep sleep would be a villain in my life for the next 6 years. I had only been asleep a couple of hours when it happened. The headache lasted about three hours and went away as fast as it came. I knew I was having some sinus problems as I usually do that time of the year and really didn't give any thought to it.
I had just started my 7 day long break and was off from work. I went about my day preparing for a coming snow storm they were predicting and really didn't feel bad at all. Then that night within 30 minutes of the time the first one hit...another one. Only this time it was twice as bad. Bad enough it scared me. I experienced things I have never known before. While outside the storm raged. This time it lasted for four hours and absolutely wiped me out. When daylight came and the headache subsided, we also had 14 inches of snow. Roads were closed, businesses shut down and I was snowed in, even with a four wheel drive.
I began to experience what is known as the "hang over" or aftermath during the day. My neck and face were so sore I couldn't stand to touch it. But the confusion of what was going on was just as bad. That night again within an hour and half after I was asleep it hit. This time...I felt sure I was going to die. I had never in my life experienced such pain. My left eye was swollen shut...along with the left side of my nose. I experienced a feeling of heat that I still cannot describe. It was then I realized I was doing things I had no control over. I paced and walked...cussed, cried, and screamed. I felt that in the wee hours of that winter morning my life would end. I knew that only something really bad could cause such pain.
When it became daylight, I decided I had to do something regardless of the streets. I finally made it out and went to emergency medical. They told me I had a serious sinus infection and gave me some meds to take. They told me, as always, to go see my personal physician as soon as I could. That night, just as with the others, it hit. My teeth were so numb you could pull them without Novocaine. I paced, rocked and held my head in my hands like a vice trying to force the pain out. I cussed and screamed which is something totally out of my nature. Without realizing what I was doing, I went outside in the cold and packed my face in snow. I don't know why. I know I did. Finally it was over just as fast as it came.
This was the pattern for the next 18 days. I went to my personal physician and he, in turn, sent me to a neurologist and a headache specialist. After thorough exams of MRI Scans, and everything else you can think of, he told me I was suffering from what is known as Episodic Cluster Headaches. He told me the medical history of them. That they were very rare and there was no known cure. There was a regimen of meds I could take to ease them somewhat. But that was it. He instructed me on giving myself a pain shot when they hit and set me up an appointment with a specialist that deals with them in Charlottesville, Virgina.
The headaches ended by the end of March and I felt it was over with. I began to research them and the more I found, the more concerned I became. They had all sorts of nicknames from "The Devils Dance" to "The Smith and Wesson Headaches". Some actually called them "The Suicide Headaches". I found that an unexplained nature of them was the uncanny time line they followed. The end of April mine were back and far worse than the first series. At times, my temples were void of hair where I had pulled it out, and I'd go to work looking like I had been in a bar fight from the black and blue bruises where I had unknowingly hit myself or squeezed my head so hard trying to force the pain out. This set lasted 9 days. So became my life every three months to the extent you could mark your calendar by them. Each came after I was asleep for about 2 hours. Each lasted from 2 to 5 hours.
A doctor from the Cleveland Clinic created a pain scale for the clusters during a group study of them. A number 5 is like the worse migraine you can have. Number 13 was suicidal. After my visit to Virginia, I was taught how to judge the pain and instructed to keep a journal of them. My employer was sent a letter explaining how rare and how intense the pain was and the type of meds I was on that might show up in my yearly physicals. I became afraid to go anywhere. I was afraid to travel and carried even more fear my children might see me have one. I was held hostage by them.
This was my life for 6 years. In that time frame I had over 250 of them. I have cried till my eyes were bloodshot and screamed to the point I lost my voice. I begged God and I cussed him. Never in control of what I was saying or actually knowing. I have thrown things and knocked holes in the wall not knowing till they were over that I had done so. One physician who did a study on the Clusters wrote that it's some of the worse pain one can experience. She described it as amputation with out anesthetics. She went on to explain that out of the thousand cases she studied, that the word "cluster" was a key to recognizing them. She went on to say they were not even in the same category as migraines and you don't have just one. So many know or feel they know of someone who has them..or had them. But in reality it was not the true "clusters". It's something you don't want to see another have...nor will you ever forget the pain.
For 6 years I knew that at least 4 times a year, an hour and half to two hours after I was asleep they would hit. It was like knowing that each time you fell asleep the same terrible nightmare was going to happen. I had every test you can imagine. Sleep test after sleep test. I tried meds that one sufferer would suggest and nothing showed a trigger...or relief.
Then the first of June 2008 they hit. Only this time they hit during the day and some days I had as many as 5 or 6 of them. By the end of the first week of June I was beside myself. I was desperate. Dangerously so. I contacted the specialist in Virginia and they conferred with my personal physician and suggested a morphine patch. I won't go into details, but, fear, pain and a hopeless feeling went beyond danger for me. I knew I could not continue to suffer 10 to 13 level Clusters much longer. I ran into a problem with getting pain meds from my insurance company. My personal physician tried to help but was running into a block wall and I was running out of time. I simply could not stand it much longer.
I contacted my son for help and he asked me if I would consider trying something somewhat new. He called and got me in with a Neurologist the specializes in chronic, severe pain. When I went to see him the first time and explained what I was going through he showed me more compassion than any physician I had seen. Trust me. I had been to a bunch of them. He told me something I'll never forget...he said, "I'm 90 percent sure I can stop 90 percent of the pain". "I just can't tell you how long it will last". He told me it could last a week, a month, a year or 5 years. I told him if he could give one week of sleep it was worth it.
The procedure consisted of long needles placed at three nerve points in the base of the skull. Then one in the jaw on the side the headaches were at and one in the temple. I'm not going to lie. I walked back to my son in the waiting area with tears running down my face. The procedure hurt and hurt bad. After each procedure I'd sleep at times for 12 to 20 hours. I had a total of 4 of these. Finally after the fourth one, the headaches stopped. That has been one year ago today. One year I have been pain free. I still wake at nights with the symptoms of them. But no pain. For the first time in 6 years I'm no longer afraid to travel or be around others certain times of the year. For the first time in 6 years, I don't have to worry about stocking up on pain meds and stat pens. For the first time in 6 years, I don't have the fear of being at work or in a grocery store or at dinner and the "devil coming to dance". I finally have my life back.
For those that want more information on these devils and those that suffer them you can check out The Organization for Understanding Cluster Headaches..."OUCH".
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Randy Kadish: The Fly Caster Who Tried To Make Peace With The World.
6:19 PM | Posted by
David |
Across one end of my living room is a bookcase that was one of the first things I built when I moved here. It's filled with books I consider my favorites and just cannot come to part with. If you looked among the titles you'd find everything from Homer Hickum to Harold Robbins. There are books on history and fiction as well as a collection of Jerry Bloodsole's Southern Crime books. Some I have read more than once. Some are perfect to sit by a fire on a cold winter's night and re-read. I have now found another book I will add to my collection. It's by an author by the name of Randy Kadish. The title of the book is The Fly Caster Who Tried To Make Peace With The World. I received an email not long ago from Randy. He had read my blog and wanted to send me a copy of his book. I really didn't know what to expect when it arrived. I sat it on my night stand and kept putting it off. After a late night venture to the yard with the pup, I found I couldn't go back to sleep, so I opened the book and was instantly hooked. There are untold numbers of fly fishing books written each year. Some have become classics; the others simply don't make it. Often they are only repeating some instruction covered by another. This book, however, is different. Much different. Randy informed me it might be a little bit heavy reading. I didn't find it as so and hung to each page and chapter.
I found it very interesting the fact of a problem with "catch and release" and "private versus public water" on the Beaverkill in New York, as far back as the early 1900's. I also found it even more interesting the use of bamboo rods then. The shop his friend Billy had that he describes is what I imagine the early builders' shops were like. To read about a transition of a rich kid from New York City to the Catskill Mountains told me so much about Ian MacBride, the main character in the book.I guess I found a connection with Randy's writings. I have for a long time used fly fishing as a means to escape and deal with matters becoming heavy on me at times. I, too, find as Ian does that being waste deep in a stream, all alone, and the only sound is what nature plays, a means of seeing the world in a different light. I can only imagine what it was like on the Beaverkill and the Saw Mill such a long time ago.
We each have a means of self defense and a way of dealing with loss. Some go in directions that only create more damage to their lives and those of others. I'll take that feeling of feeling a rod I have built load and shoot a line to a run across a stream any day. I highly recommend anyone who enjoys fly fishing and the dynamics of fly castings to purchase and read this book. I'm flattered that Randy sent it to me, and wanted me to read it. It's as if he knew I'd be captured from page one. For you see, I too met an Izzy on the Abrams Creek in the SMNP long ago. Things he showed me, I still use today. I waded downstream just a few yards around a bend and when I went back to tell him how well his advice had worked, he was gone. Much like the Izzy in Randy's incredible story.
Thank you very much, Randy Kadish, for choosing to send me your book. I'm honored and I appreciate it very much.
Randy Kadish is an outdoor writer whose works have appeared in such well known periodicals as Flyfishing and Tying Journal, and Fishing and Hunting News.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
St. Vitus Dance, Southern style
8:42 AM | Posted by
David |
Having some free time on my hands as of late, along with being held hostage by an 8 week old black lab named Jake, I've been doing some Spring cleaning. To me, that usually involves putting things back I pulled out during the winter. I was sorting through some of my DVD's the other evening and came across one of my favorite movies. The name of the film is Shag, The Movie. The basis of the movie is typical of such films. A group of recently graduated high school kids decide to sneak off to Myrtle Beach. They are suppose to be attending some sort of a Southern culture event and in no way heading to the Redneck Riviera. You might know it was Fun Sun week and full of other high school grads from up and down the Eastern part of the US. I, too, had a Sun Fun week experience but that's for another post at a later date.
Myrtle beach has been the student mecca for as long as I can remember. When I was a senior and entertained the thoughts of going with the group I graduated with, I was told, "you ain't going to that old beach place". So instead, I went to work for Beckley Glass Company and spent my graduation week in the tourist mecca of Welch, West Virginia. It seems there was a riot of sorts and a store front window broken in the process. Anyway, seeing the movie Shag brought something to mind that brought a laugh out loud and a need to watch it again.
I was in a grocery store in South Carolina. It was there the person I was with, all of a sudden, grabbed the handle to the frozen food door and began a gyration much like St. Vitus Dance. There was an older gentlemen I used to see in downtown Beckley who would walk the streets during the day and all of a sudden go into a dance to music only his mind was hearing. My mom would say...as she so often did, "the poor old soul has St. Vitus Dance". I began to think the same that afternoon buying stuff for a cook out. But then another customer came down the isle and began to do the same thing. The conversation that followed revealed it was what is known as Shag Dancing. It's a dance born out of the beach culture and known as "beach music".
How these folks can be in such an almost reclined position and not fall down is beyond me. To say I was a wee bit embarrassed is an understatement. But it was refreshing to know that two total strangers could meet there between the frozen foods and fresh ground coffee and communicate by shuffling their feet and holding on to a door handle.
Later that evening as I was grilling burgers and chef for the evening, the same thing happened. Only this time it was with the deck rail post. I heard no music that I was aware of, but someone sure must have. A voice from the other end of the deck yelled out..."Momma, would you please stop that, it's embarrassing".
She then looked at me and asked if we had Shag dancing up there in West Virginia? I told her not really, but we have just learned this new thing called the Fox Trot. A very bewildered look came across her face, and she said something I'll never forget..."My God, down here they'll Shag to the 6 O'clock news"Tuesday, April 7, 2009
What in the world was she thinking?
11:22 PM | Posted by
David |
I was watching an old movie last night with a scene where someone was on their death bed, and the local town's doctor was administering an elixir of some nature. I had to laugh when I saw that...for it reminded me of a a similar thing my mother used to do.
As a child, and even today, I have a problem with sinus. Each summer, just as school was out, it would hit. I didn't know then it was spurred by allergies...I do now. I believed my mother when she told me it was skinny dipping in the Little Hole below the Blue Jay Cemetary. Just couldn't figure out why I was the only one getting sick.
But my mother had a remedy...it didn't work, but it was used all the same. It came in a thin clear bottle that was well hidden on the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet...along with a spoon large enough to dig a grave with. This same spoon was tarnished from years of holding it over the flame of the kitchen stove to warm up this magical elixir. This magic potion was Castor Oil. Made from fish oil and plants and with no real known benefit other than sending you to the bathroom in a very short time. This had to be, without a doubt, the most vile tasting thing I have ever tasted. Often this warm thick nothing was rewarded with the bite from an orange. Trust me, this didn't help one bit. It did, however, help with one thing. I seldom complained I was sick for the fear of then seeing her pull the chair over and climb to that top shelf.
I mentioned this at work one evening and got the comment that child abuse comes in many forms. They were joking, of course, but when you are 10 years old and knew what was ahead, you too thought it was. I'd complain like any child would. I got the same alternative each time. It's either the dose of Castor Oil or a shot in the butt from Ol' Doc Tetter. That was like choosing between a snake bite and poke in the eye. Internet searches show that Castor Oil's only true medical advantage was it worked like a laxative. Never could connect that with sinus and sore throat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
